Since last Mondays blog post, I have really been thinking about the difficulty to actually BE myself. Sounds silly, right?
Maybe…But have you ever thought about it?
To be honest, posting and sharing a LIVE video was VERY exposing for me.
Monday was without makeup, hair up in a pony tail, just worked out, not a great camera angle and imperfect lighting. Needless to say it was SCARY… I think I might care a little toooooo much what other people think. But I did it because I wanted to confront my own fears and be REAL with each other.
It was important for ME to breakthrough the insecurities I hide under and share from my heart. And you know what is CRAZY?? We reached OVER 3,600 views on that RAW, weak, honest video. 3,600!!!! WHAT THE WHAT!!!? (Video can be found HERE in case you missed it!)
The crazy thing is how many emails, responses and comments FLOODED in by me simply being me. Raw, makeup free, real ME.
It caused my heart to ponder the deeper work God was doing in my heart.
Why do I spend so much time hiding behind the masks?
Why do I fret over what others think of me?
What am I feeling when I give into those fears? Rejection… Sadness… Hopeless… Anxious…
But what is the deeper desire in my heart?
That desire that was put there BY God?
For me its to make an impact.
To see lives and hearts awakened to truth.
To be known, seen and heard for who I truly am, not who I am projecting.
So that’s the question I want to pose to you:
What are you feeling when you allow comparison to steal your joy?
What desires are so deep down inside of you, screaming to be free?
Breaking free of false expectations and truly being YOU. Wild, crazy, YOU.
Think about what you like to do. What your passions are. What YOUR dreams are. What God says about you and how He made you PERFECTLY.
Do you agree with Him?
I struggle with it… still.
BUT I am asking for grace to love me for ME and love what He worked so hard to make.
Think about some of those fears that seem to paralyze you and comment below with something that you LOVE uniquely about YOU!
We are in this fight for life and light TOGETHER!
And don’t even get me started on the lure of “Pinterest Perfect Living” that creates a perfect storm in too many hearts.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t one of those BOOOOO social media posts. Oh please.
I love Pinterest and use Social Media for my business (and have met some AMAZING people over the last few years).
But let’s be honest with how many times we are jealous, envious and comparing our reality with a “perfect face forward” image we see displayed. Best photos, best moments, never struggling… Sound familiar??
THIS is what we need to stop. THIS comparison is stealing our joy.
Let’s be clear about one thing. Comparison didn’t start when social media flew into our lives.
Nope. That little beast has been around for generations, assaulting and shutting down the hearts of men and women alike. Social Media has heightened our awareness, and we need to be on guard of where our hearts are.
But I want to address you, dear daughter, and the fight that you are in.
Did you even realize that? YOU are in a fight for your life.
There is an enemy that is hunting you, doing everything it can to steal your joy, your heart and your core identity. Evil is hunting us all and more often than not, we are completely unaware of the assault.
No wonder I feel like I can’t get out of this pit I’m in...
You, dear daughter, were made in the image of God. You were made PERFECT. Beautiful.
Don’t give me the “But I’m overweight… I’m not pretty… I’m not good enough… strong enough… smart enough” ENOUGH WITH THE LIES!
We have a choice to STOP believing them.
WE have to stop waking up every morning HATING what He so beautifully and purposefully made.
But only you can make that choice.
Please know that I get it. Its real and I have lived most of my life in that space. But we MUST believe what God says that defines us instead of believing what culture is screaming down our necks.
BE this… DO that… LOOK like this… ALWAYS be on… Never fail… SUCK IT UP… BE perfect… STAY quiet… DONT rock the boat… ENOUGH! I can’t take it anymore!
I am so tired of living up to a standard I was never meant to reach.
I am so heartbroken watching my own life and those of dear friends crumble under the weight of comparison.
I am so READY to live in the peace and freedom promised.
We were created in HIS image and if we are accusing what He made, then ultimately we are saying that He is not good and made a mistake.
Go grab your Bible and open it up to Psalm 139 right now and let the truth wash over you.
For you createdmy inmost being; youknit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts,God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
Psalm 139 13-18 (Emphasis mine)
I want you to read that verse again and ask the Father what He was thinking about when He made you.
What were His emotions?
What was His desire?
What purpose were you created for?
Have you ever thought about the fact that you could have been born 100 years ago? 1000 years ago?
But God chose you for THIS time. To be here in THIS generation with THESE pressures and trials to give HIM glory.
We are all in the battle.
We are all in the struggle in some way.
Yet we have a God who is intentional, purposeful and perfect in His leadership.
We have a Father who sees us, knows us and has counted every hair on our heads.
This is who you are beloved. You are His and He is fiercely committed to you.
What if we actually walked in that confidence?
Believed what He said was true?
What if instead of comparing and tearing each other down, we actually spoke life over one another?
Love over one another?
Calling out the beauty we see in each other?
Offering rest to our weary souls and acceptance that we are ALL on the journey to stand before Him in love.
This is such a deep desire, and reach for my life.
I have not always loved well. I recognize this.
I have made many mistakes. I also recognize this.
But I know that God is for me and has given me grace to love, grow and lean into Him. Grace to love others as myself and speak life and truth instead of lies and accusation.
I invite you to ask Him some of these questions.
Let Him touch your heart and give you grace to love who He made.
You are enough. You are loved. You are worthy.
You are adored.
Start the dialogue and let Him pursue the deeper places of your heart.
I’ll do it with you. Who knows, maybe if we stop comparing ourselves so much, we could actually love well.
As you go about the busyness of your day today, I want to encourage you with this beautiful Advent devotional from John Piper on the gift and importance of remembering Jesus this Christmas Eve. It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of making dinner, wrapping presents and welcoming in loved ones, but we must see the worth of Christ and treasure Him in our hearts this Eve.
I pray that this devotional encourages you as much as it did me.
May your days truly be merry and bright!!!
Xox, Rachael Dee
GOD’S INDESCRIBABLE GIFT If while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. —Romans 5:10–11
How do we practically receive reconciliation and exult in God? One answer is: do it through Jesus Christ. Which means, at least in part, make the portrait of Jesus in the Bible—the work and the words of Jesus portrayed in the New Testament—the essential content of your exultation over God. Exultation without the content of Christ does not honor Christ.
In 2 Corinthians 4:4–6, Paul describes conversion two ways. In verse 4, he says it is seeing “the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” And in verse 6, he says it is seeing “the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” In either case you see the point. We have Christ, the image of God, and we have God in the face of Christ.
Practically, to exult in God, you exult in what you see and know of God in the portrait of Jesus Christ. And this comes to its fullest experience when the love of God is poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, as Romans 5:5 says.
So here’s the Christmas point. Not only did God purchase our reconciliation through the death of the Lord Jesus Christ (verse 10), and not only did God enable us to receive that reconciliation through the Lord Jesus Christ (verse 11), but even now, verse 11 says, we exult in God himself through our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus purchased our reconciliation. Jesus enabled us to receive the reconciliation and open the gift. And Jesus himself shines forth from the wrapping—the indescribable gift—as God in the flesh, and stirs up all our exultation in God.
Look to Jesus this Christmas. Receive the reconciliation that he bought. Don’t put it on the shelf unopened. And don’t open it and then make it a means to all your other pleasures. Open it and enjoy the gift. Exult in him. Make him your pleasure. Make him your treasure.
(excerpt taken from “Good news of Great Joy” by John Piper)
*Please take a moment to share this post on your Social Media networks. There are share buttons blow. Holidays can be such a sad and difficult time for many that we might know, and this devotional could be that spark of hope that they might need!
Have an amazing day and love those around you with your whole heart. I am grateful for YOU this Christmas Eve and thank God for your life!
I sure do hope you like a goodlove story… Because this one sometimes seems too good to be true!
What you have to understand about Justin and I is that we have known each other through a mutual friend for over 6 and a half years now. We have a TON of history! I actually remember the first day I met him in the coffee shop when I was visiting before I moved to Kansas City. It was his smile that caused me to take note of him… that smile that can brighten up any room.
Fast forward four years or so, and you find Justin in his fourth year of IHOPU and I was in my second year. The Lord started moving significantly in the midst of our student body and we started to see hundreds of physical miracles in healings, and incredible testimonies of deliverance from fear, rejection & self hatred! It was then that our paths crossed again and the sparks started to fly! I was drawn to him in such a unique way and wondered if he would ever take notice of me…
Well as the weeks progressed, it was obvious to all of our friends that we “clicked” and as ANY of you know, word started spreading among them fast. Many of our friends were talking about how they thought we should start dating, but Justin and I had never talked about that face to face… Well, that is, until he pulled me into a side room at the House of Prayer, and had a DTR (define the relationship) talk. I sat there, as a 28 year old woman, with eyes wide open, as he so graciously & humbly explained that we were amazingfriends and that he didn’t see it EVER CHANGING.
(Now hold on a minute, what does this word EVER mean??)
Though I was crushed & secretly hoping it would move into something MORE, I respected the humility and grace he walked in as he repented and asked my forgiveness for leading me the wrong way through his actions. I was stunned at his decision, but none the less honored by his approach. That was actually the start of a beautiful, deep and lasting friendship that built over the course of the next 2 years.
Fast forward, and now I was entering into my senior year of IHOPU, preparing to move down to Atlanta Georgia to serve at the house of prayer for my senior apprenticeship. I had been there for just over three weeks when one seemingly normal Tuesday afternoon turned everything upside down!
That day, as I was leaving a leadership meeting, I walked out to a box of red roses that were sent overnight to the prayer room, ANONYMOUSLY with a single verse that said “Song of Songs 1:15” which says “you are all together beautiful my love; you are all together beautiful. You have doves eyes.” Frantically I searched for a name, but could not find one. I began to text message and call EVERYONE I thought might send me the flowers to “encourage me” (I had been having a rough week) but no one seemed to know who the mystery flowers were from. I dared not let my heart believe that I could possibly have a suitor, and went home that night thanking the Lord for the sweet gift to my heart. As I unwrapped the flowers and arranged them in the stunning vase it came with, I went upstairs to go to bed.
Literally minutes later I get a text message from, you guessed it-JUSTIN.
It simply said: “Watcha doin?”
Ummm… hold up a minute. Something ANY of his friends know now and absolutely knew THEN was that JUSTIN NEVER SENDS TEXT MESSAGES…
Let alone one so strange as “watcha doin?”
So, thinking practically and rationally, I assumed he texted the wrong Rachael (there were 7-8 at our church then) and reminded him:“Me? I’m in GEORGIA, about to go to bed… what are you doing??”
As puzzled as I was, it was still not clicking for me that the flowers could be from him. We were the dearest of friends, and I never thought he could be a potential suitor!
He responds back “OH, I am just recovering from a long road trip. You have beautiful weather here.”
Now I am just BAFFLED! “YOU ARE IN GEORGIA!?!?!?!” I responded…
(I honestly thought he was on a church ministry trip of some sort and DIDN’T TELL ME he was coming into town. Yup, still no connection to the flowers)
Then he drops the bomb… “Would you like to go for a walk?’
“I am outside”
Justin. Here?IN GEORGIA? I threw on a sweatshirt on a FLEWdownstairs. There he was, leaning up against my car, tears in his eyes, and it started to hit me like waves crashing down on my heart.
“Oh my goodness. OH my goodness. OH. MY goodness…” was all I was able to muster in my head as he walked up and gave me a hug. But the words that were coming out of my mouth were “JUSTIN WHY ARE YOU IN GEORGIA?Why are you in GEORGIA… oh goodness… JUSTIN? Why are you… here??”
Every part of my body was trembling, shaking and I felt like I was floating as I saw the tenderness on his face and tears welling up in his eyes. So much emotion wrapped up in a single moment as he then proceeded to lay his heart BOLDLY on the line, telling me that he loved me, that he always loved me, and that he wanted to serve, honor and love me for the rest of my life. He told me that he knew no other woman that provoked him to love Jesus more than me. He didn’t want to date me to get to know me-we were the best of friends and he knew so much about me. He wanted to spend the rest of his life getting to know the parts about me that he didn’t know. He made it clear that it was NOT a proposal, but that in his intention to date me, he wanted me to know what it was unto, and that was marriage.
I had to sit down due to the utter shock wave that just hit me, but as he told me the story again, and then again a third time just so I could try and wrap my head around what was taking place, I started to giggle. (That part shocked me! My heart was SO open to him!) We ended up talking for hours that night and the next day I expressed to him that I would be honoredif he would pursue me.
(Or first picture together… I was so nervous lol!)
2 weeks after that, I told him that my heart had caught up and that I was falling truly, madly and deeply in love with him. He was the man that I had deep down always loved and cherished for years. We began a long distance relationship as I concluded my time in Georgia, (Which included him flying out to Texas for Thanksgiving with my family) and the weekend I moved back home, he surprised me AGAIN by proposing the night before we went to Minnesota to spend Christmas 2011 with his family!!!!
That night was a beautiful dream. I walked into my house, assuming plans were to meet up with him to go on a date night, and I walked into my house FULLY TRANSFORMED into the most stunning, gorgeous, breathtaking proposal I have ever seen! A hundred candles lined the staircase as I walked in, roses were delicately placed about the room, and there were thousands of paper hearts cut out by hand all over the floor. I thought that I was dreaming as he walked up to me, dropped down to one knee, asking me to be his wife. I said yes breathlessly and we shared our first kiss in that moment, sealing the promise of betrothal as husband and wife. The weeks that followed that were short, but so sweet as we began to dream, and plan and talk about our future lives coming together as one. My best friend. My soul mate. My other half.
I was to become Mrs. Rachael Thomas… and nothing could have made me happier.
5 short weeks later, Justin packed up his things to fulfill his ministry assignment and commitment to the Lord working and serving in a children’s home in Brazil for 6 months. Our wedding date was set for September 27, 2012 and was exactly ONE YEAR to the day from when Justin drove down to Georgia, showed up on my doorstep, and fully won my heart. The road has been long as the majority of our dating relationship was long distance, but it was truly a delight to come so close to the man that I am about to be married to. I am so proud of his hard work and devotion to the Lord as he served and loved on these kids, and I am humbled by the way he loves Jesus in the midst of such difficulties. He truly is a man after Gods own heart.
I was 30 years old when we said our vows to each other, and I have many friends who are in their late 20’s, early 30’s or even their 40’s and still single. My encouragement to your hearts is the fact that when Jesus writes the most beautiful love story, it is truly worth the wait.
When we as women STOP trying to steer or dictate our own happiness and future plans, we allow God to come into those areas of loneliness and write His love upon our hearts. Justin does not bring me fulfillment. He is a conduit of love that points me back to Jesus daily. I cannot look to him to satisfy my loneliness; only Jesus can do that through the power of the Holy Spirit. He is my best friend and provokes me to love Jesus on a daily basis. I couldn’t ask for a better husband and am grateful to the Lords leadership and timing.
I always thought that I would be married young, yet see the perfect purpose in why the Lord has us both WAIT. Let go of control. Repent for trying to steer your own future. Thank God for the season He has you in. Its truly in the waiting that your soul will find rest. Grace grace to you today and remember that there is joy in whatever season you find yourself in.
Little fun fact-We have been married for 432 days now and it has been the most amazing, wonderful and FUN adventure of my life.
But those are stories for another day 😉
Ok.
So I have a thought and need to know if I am the only one… Or if perhaps, there are many of us in the same place.
My thought is about the importance and value of being JUST YOU.
I’m talking about being ALL IN, no matter the season. About loving FULLY, no matter the heartache. About being all that God has made YOU to be, even when its downright HARD.
YES. HARD!
My heart is reflecting this morning on BEING (who God made) ME (to be).
Just me. Quirks, humor, personality, dreams and desires… ME!
Not comparing myself to my nearest and dearest friend.
Not being what I presume my husband wants me to be.
Not living under the shadow or cloud of who I was a year ago, but JUST BEING ME. Today.
And you know whats amazing about this?
I AM ENOUGH! Just the way I am. TODAY!
Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. (Matthew 7:13-14, ESV)
Did you catch that? THE WAY IS HARD.
From the mouth of Jesus Himself!
HARD!!? But everyone said that when I came to know Jesus, life would get better, easier, simpler, blessed, money, provision etc…
Anyone heard these phrases? Lived under them? Questioned God when life didn’t go quite the way you thought??
He gave us a tender yet sober warning that the WAY IS HARD… Hard, but so incredibly and deeply worth it.
Shame tries to silence us and make us believe that we are not good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, patient enough or loving enough to truly walk in the fullness of God. Yet the moment we allow shame and condemnation to take even the smallest foothold, we are allowing those lies of the enemy to crush us into despair and a false identity of who God says we are.
The silence and isolation that follow shame are real and debilitating in the process of allowing others to speak life into the deep places of our heart. How then do we crawl out of the pit? How do we walk as God made EACH of us to be!?
My challenge to us all today is asking The Lord what HE sees and thinks of us in every aspect of our lives. EVERY Arena.
Its not about what others think. At the end of the day, God’s opinion of me is the ONLY one that matters.
He is the giver and of life and breathes truth into my weary soul… He gives abundantly when I ASK.
YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are created in His image. You are FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY made!
My mother always told me growing up that “Hard is not bad, its just hard.”
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Weeks, months, years of wrestling produce a patient endurance inside of us.
Let your heart be free today to just be you. Thank The Lord for making you EXACTLY the way you are. Take a deep breath (literally) and thank Him for your beauty, your strength, your wisdom, your friends, your family and your eternal relationship with Him.
He is near to you today and LOVES every part about you. Ask Him to reveal a deeper measure of His nature and character today and let the beauty of who YOU are be enough!
Comment below in any capacity you would like to share and let me pray with you, agreeing with the truth that He speaks over you.
